Holding a House Party

In this chapter you will find guidance and road-tested materials for a successful education and fundraising event in your home. These resources will help you impress on your guests the importance of Compassion & Choices’ work and how best they can help. Generous supporters like you power our efforts, and we hope your guests will join you in your involvement with Compassion & Choices.

A Compassion & Choices house party is a great way to accomplish two critical goals: 1) raise the vital funds needed to power Compassion & Choices’ work and 2) to educate your guests about end-of-life issues and motivate them to get involved with this movement. As the host, you can accomplish these goals with the help of the tips and tools contained in this guide. We hope your house party is only your guests’ first step in joining our movement.

Host Commitments

By offering to host a Compassion & Choices house party, you commit to:

• Provide space for the party.
• Invite your personal network.
• Offer refreshments.
• Craft an invitation that includes a brief explanation about why this issue is important to you.
• Decide whether your party will include remarks from an expert on end-of-life topics or a storyteller; if so, contact your Compassion & Choices liaison to help make arrangements.
• Make fundraising “ask” to guests, starting with your own donation to demonstrate your commitment. Consider matching the donations of your guests to really motivate them!
• Share all sign-up information with Compassion & Choices.

Getting People to Your Party

Obviously, healthy attendance is critical to a successful party. A general rule is that your invite list will generate about a 30% response rate, so try to invite about three times as many people as you think your space can hold. As you assemble your guest list, go through your phone and email contacts, Rolodexes and Facebook friend lists to identify those who might be interested, including:

• Friends
• Family
• Neighbors
• Coworkers
• Legislators and other community leaders
• Your doctor or other healthcare providers
• Book club members
• Civic organizations
• Sports teammates
• Faith members
• Members of other civic groups you attend

You might also consider co-hosting with someone — double the resources and double the friends!

Creating Your Invitation

Determine Event Details

• Select one of our house-party topics: medical aid-in-dying campaigns or access campaigns (see the next page for more information on each presentation topic).
• Think of an interesting title or subject line.
• Determine the date, time, location and address.
• Gather other important or pertinent details such as parking directions or building entry.

Decide Which Invitation Method to Use

• Evite.com – You can easily create invitations and manage RSVPs with the invitation website Evite.com. Use the “Invitation Letter” templates found in the appendix of this toolkit to copy and paste into the “message from the host” field in your invitation. Then simply load your guest list and send them in one bunch.
• Email – Similar to the Evite, find the “Invitation Letter” templates found in the appendix of this toolkit, copy and paste the text into the body of your email and personalize with your message. Then add all of your guest’s email addresses and send out the invitation.
• Paper – Using the “Invitation Letter” templates found in the appendix of this toolkit personalize, print and mail to your invitees.
• Facebook – Consider creating a Facebook event in addition to other methods. It’s easy to invite Facebook friends, provide details about the party and post reminders. You can also include the link to the Facebook event on your Evite or email invitations.
• A combination of electronic, social media and/or paper might be right for you depending on how you keep in touch with your contacts.

Create Your Invitation

Once you have determined your event details and invitation method, you can craft your invitation language. You should follow the general structure below, dedicating a paragraph to each of the following:

• Your welcoming statement. Let folks know you thought of them specifically for this invitation.
• The presentation topic, any speakers you’ve confirmed, the date, time and location.
• Why you support the work of Compassion & Choices and a personal story, if you are comfortable sharing one.
• Mention that any donation collected at the party will go directly to funding Compassion & Choices’ important work.
• Give instructions for how to RSVP. This will be determined by your invitation method. So whether it’s a link to an Evite, a reply to an email or a telephone number, make sure it’s clear how to RSVP.

Selecting a Presentation/Discussion Topic

When selecting a presentation topic for your house party, keep in mind your state’s medical aid-in-dying status, the current priorities for end-of-life care and who your guests are. For example, if you are hosting a house party in a state where medical aid in dying is already authorized, your speaker’s emphasis should be on Compassion & Choices’ Access Campaign and related efforts to implement the law. If your guests include nurses, pharmacists and physicians, you should prioritize a speaker who is a medical provider, ideally one who has experience with the law and can present to your guests as peers. Choose one of the following presentation topics for your house party:

Medical Aid-in-Dying Campaigns

Thousands of volunteer advocates and educators are mobilized in every state in the nation. They advance Compassion & Choices’ initiatives to change federal policy to improve care and expand choice, enact and implement state medical aid-in-dying laws, and help patients and their loved ones advocate for care that is consistent with their values and priorities.

Access Campaigns

Even in states where medical aid in dying is authorized, our work is not done. Although a state’s authorized status may allow terminally ill, mentally capable adults the option to seek medical aid in dying, it does not necessarily provide the support and education that patients and doctors need to navigate the process. Far too many people in authorized states still can’t find supportive doctors or healthcare systems, or learn about the law too late. In these states, Compassion & Choices’ Access Campaigns educate doctors, caregivers, families and individuals facing end-of-life suffering about the process for accessing medical aid in dying.

Hosting a Remote Speaker

If you decide to host a speaker who isn’t local, be sure to have and test the necessary equipment and technology needed for them to join remotely. Options include Skype, Google Hangout, Facetime or simply using a speakerphone. All of these methods offer free services and can be used via your laptop computer, so take some time to explore their functionality before your event and choose the one you are most comfortable with.  

Make sure your guests will be able to see, and most importantly, hear your presenter. If your computer’s speakers are not powerful enough, consider connecting external speakers via your headphone jack. If you’re having trouble with your technology, contact your Compassion & Choices’ campaign manager for assistance.

Screening a Video

If your event will feature a video presentation, you can use the discussion questions and activities found in the appendix to help you lead discussion around the issue. Be sure you have the necessary video on hand and have tested it before your guests arrive.

“How to Die in Oregon” is available streaming via Amazon.com/amazon-video free for Amazon Prime members and for a small fee to others. It’s also available via Netflix DVD rental service (not via steaming at this time). Your local library may also have the film available for check out. Or, you can purchase or borrow a copy from Compassion & Choices. Whichever method you choose, make sure you have the appropriate equipment (TV, DVD player, computer or other connective device).

Running Your House Party

Below is a rough timeline for your house party. You can adjust earlier or later and tailor it to your event, but we’ve found that this structure has led to some very successful events in the past.

6:00 p.m.   Host/co-host welcomes arriving guests. Make sure they sign in.

Guests mingle, meet each other, enjoy food and drinks. Guests are invited to gather for the event program portion of the party.

7:00 p.m. Host begins the program, tells their story of support for Compassion & Choices and introduces the featured speaker or other presentation option.

The featured speaker gives their talk or other presentation option. Encourage guests to ask questions and engage them in conversation about Compassion & Choices’ work.

As the presentation concludes, make your donation “ask” and commit to a donation yourself, if possible, and distribute envelopes to your guests. Learn more about your fundraising “ask” in the next section.

7:30 p.m. Host/co-host collects envelopes, thanks guests for coming and for their support.

At the host’s/co-host’s discretion, they may invite guests to stay for more refreshments and conversation.

Your house party can start at any time, but generally a house party will last about two hours.

Making the Ask for Support

A successful house party depends on several factors: strategic invitation lists, good planning and helpful volunteers. If you want the event to be a fundraising success, in the end you have to be prepared to ask your guests for money. These simple steps will help you make a successful ask, even if you might initially be uncomfortable making this kind of request.  

• Clearly state the fundraising goal for the event. As an example: “Today I want to raise a minimum of $1,000 for Compassion & Choices so it can continue to do great work here in our state and around the country.”
• As the host/co-host, be prepared to make the first donation yourself. It’s more effective and easier to ask others for money if you donate first. If you are comfortable, state your donation amount and why you decided to contribute this amount.
• Consider a match. If you are able and comfortable, consider matching guests’ donations up to a certain amount to demonstrate your commitment to the end-of-life options movement.
• Challenge your guests to a specific dollar amount. This helps guests to dig a little bit deeper. Tie the challenge back to the storyteller’s story and the emotional impact created in the room.
• Be confident. Most importantly, show that you are comfortable asking for their support. This will help increase the number of guests who give along with the amount they give.
• Make donating easy. Instead of relying on donation envelopes and checks, consider online donations! Place a tablet and/or laptop computer opened to Compassion & Choices’ donation page at the sign-in table to make giving even easier.

After the Event

After your event there are a few simple tasks you should undertake to maximize the party’s impact.

• Give thanks. Send thank-you notes to those who attended, with a special thanks to those who generously donated to Compassion & Choices, brought food or other items to your party, or otherwise helped with organizing and/or promoting the event. If you used an invitation platform like Evite, you can easily generate thank-you emails and even share photos of the event.
• Social-ize your event. If you promoted the event on Facebook or other social media, post some photos (with permission of your guests) to keep the momentum going — who knows, you might inspire a friend in another city or state to get involved and host an event of their own! See example at right — don’t forget to tag C&C and check out Facebook’s new “Donate” option!
• Return contributions, lists and unused materials. Within three days, please send your invite and RSVP/check-in lists, unused Compassion & Choices materials, and donations to Compassion & Choices care of Trylon Data Management, 30 Buck Rd, Hanover, NH 03755.

Frequently Asked Questions About Hosting a House Party

What is involved in being a host/co-host?

Nothing much more than the usual party-planning responsibilities: picking a date, inviting your friends, preparing your favorite party dishes, planning the event and enjoying your party.

What are the reasons for having a co-host?

A co-host’s primary purpose is to expand and diversify your guest list as well as share the tasks involved in planning and preparation. If you have a great space but not much of a guest list, a great guest list but a small space, or a great space and great list but limited time to plan, co-hosting may be just the thing for you.

How many people should I invite?

Figure out how many people you can fit comfortably in the space you will be using for your party. The general guideline is to invite three times as many people as you hope will attend.

Who should I invite?

Your family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, members of other groups you belong to or participate in, and anyone who you think is concerned about end-of-life care. Keep in mind that one of the main functions of your party is to reach out to a diverse audience, including people who may not be familiar with Compassion & Choices or its work.

How does Compassion & Choices benefit?

House parties play an important role in introducing new people to  Compassion & Choices and the end-of-life options movement. By hosting a house party, you and your guests can express financial support for Compassion & Choices as well as your commitment to expand and improve end-of-life options and care. Your house party will power our work with donations and bring new activists to the movement. What could be better?

How do my guests and I benefit?

You and your guests will have the opportunity to participate in an engaging discussion about end-of-life choice and decision-making. They will learn more about Compassion & Choices’ work and what you and they can do to bring about real change, including making financial contributions, volunteering or other advocacy work.

What is Evite.com?

Evite is a web-based invitation tool that allows you to easily design invitations, track RSVPs and even solicit donations directly through your invitation — which means that even those who can’t attend your party can support Compassion & Choices and our work to expand access to a full range of end-of-life options.

Simply personalize the “Invitation Letter” templates found in the appendix of this toolkit, and copy and paste the text into the body of the Evite email. Then fill in the details of your party, and Evite will guide you through the steps to send your invitation, track RSVPs and send reminders!

Why do I need to send my guests so many reminders?

People are busy, particularly during the holiday and summer months when multiple events compete for their time. As a general rule, for every reminder you send, your attendance will double — so it’s worth the time! It’s harder to say no in a real conversation, so be prepared to follow up by phone if you don’t hear back by Evite.

Is it OK to have the party be just a friend-raiser and not ask for donations?

Yes. But we find that when people donate, even if they give just $5, they are more likely to become actively involved because they are invested.

How can I get envelopes for donations?

If you plan to use envelopes for donations, contact Development Services at Compassion & Choices ([email protected]) to request envelopes.

Where should I send any donations I receive?

Send all of your donations and unused materials as well as your invite and RSVP/check-in lists to Compassion & Choices, Attn: Development Services, Compassion & Choices care of Trylon Data Management, 30 Buck Rd, Hanover, NH 03755.

Resources for Hosting a House Party

Instruction for Invitation Letter Templates

1. There are three templates for your invitation letter. Select the presentation topic that is most relevant to your statewide priorities and guests’ interests.
2. Use the prompts in the highlighted fields below to customize the letter.
3. For paper invitations:
   Copy and paste the letter templates into a new document and complete the yellow highlighted fields.
   Once you have reviewed for typos and accuracy, print and send to your invite list.
4. For digital invitations (Evite.com, email):
   Copy and paste the letter templates into a new document and complete the yellow highlighted fields.
   Copy your customized letter and paste into the body of your email or the “message from host” section of your Evite.

Letters for States with Current Legislation

Letters for Federal Programs

Letters for Implementation States

House Party Check List

This worksheet offers a step-by-step guide to producing an at-home screening event in your living room, den or even the backyard. Give yourself at least four weeks to plan and promote your event.

4-6 Weeks Prior to Party

• Develop an invitation list from your personal network, and if you would like to open your party to nearby supporters, contact Compassion & Choices Development Services at [email protected] for more information.
• Start having conversations about your event with your personal network.
• Work with your local Action Team leader or Compassion & Choices point person to confirm a featured speaker or storyteller, if applicable.
• Develop invitation details and message from host using the templates provided in this appendix.
• Mail at least four weeks prior to your event, if using paper invitations.
  

3-4 Weeks Prior to Party

• Send out Evite.com, email and/or Facebook invitations to your guest list.
• Make arrangements to rent a microphone if you are expecting more than 40 guests.
• Reach out to your Compassion & Choices point of contact to request Compassion & Choices materials if you would like to provide them at your house party.
• Contact Development Services at Compassion & Choices ([email protected]) to request donation envelopes.

2-3 Weeks Prior to Party

• Start confirming and recording RSVPs using the template spreadsheet provided in this appendix.
• Send an Evite, Facebook or email reminder to the invitees who have not yet responded.
• Make personal phone calls to any invitees who have not yet responded.
• Draft an “event program” using the template provided in this appendix.
• Have a meet-and-greet phone conversation with featured speaker (if applicable).
• Arrange to receive short bio on featured speaker (if applicable).
• Arrange for somebody to check guests in on day of event.
• Contact your Compassion & Choices point person to ask whether there are any campaign efforts underway that your guests can support by signing a letter or petition. Request copies of corresponding letters or petitions.
• Rent a microphone if you are expecting more than 40 guests.

One Week Prior to Party

• Send out another Evite or Facebook reminder, and make calls to those who have not yet responded.
• Finalize “event program” using the template provided in this appendix
• Arrange for food and drink (finger foods are great and involve less clean-up).
• Send out Evite, Facebook or email reminder with address and parking information to all guests who RSVP’d yes and maybe.
• Reconfirm with the person who will check in guests at door.
• Purchase printable labels to print name badges.
  

One Day Prior to Party

• Print check-in list using templates provided in this appendix.
• Print name badges.
• Print a few copies of the “event program” – one each for the host/co-host, featured speaker and individual who is checking in guests.
• Print biography of featured speaker (if applicable).
• Make sure you have the donation envelopes in hand.
• Pick up and test rented microphone (for larger parties).
• Send out Evite, Facebook and email reminder with address and parking information to all guests who RSVP’d yes and maybe.

Day of Party

• Arrange furniture to accommodate guests, host/co-host and featured speaker.
• Set up check-in table at the entrance with name badges, RSVP/check-in list and Compassion & Choices materials (if applicable), and sign support letters/petitions/photo releases (if needed).
• Consider having a tablet or computer for people to use to sign up to volunteer or make donations.
• Prepare refreshments.
• “Train” any volunteers you have on how to sign people in, accept donations or anything else you might need them to do.
• Have host documents (event program, speaker bio if there is a speaker, donation envelopes and talking points) organized and ready to go.
• Have camera/smartphone ready to take pictures for Compassion & Choices.

Sample House Party Timeline

Evening event with the film + discussion and activities:

• 6:00 p.m.   Host/co-host welcomes arriving guests. Designated person checks them in.
• 6:00 p.m. Guests mingle, meet each other, enjoy food and drinks. Guests are invited to gather for the event program portion of the party.
• 7:00 p.m. Host/co-host begins the event program, explains why they support Compassion & Choices, tells their story and uses the bio to introduce the featured speaker (if applicable).
  The featured speaker gives their presentation (if applicable).
  Guests are encouraged to ask questions and engage in conversations about Compassion & Choices.
  If comfortable, host/co-host commits to giving a financial gift to Compassion & Choices and invites guests to follow suit and distributes envelopes.
• 7:30 p.m. Host/co-host collects envelopes, thanks guests for coming and for their support.
  At the host’s/co-host’s discretion, they may invite guests to stay for more refreshments and conversation.
• 8:00 p.m. Good night!

Your house party can start at any time, but generally a house party will last about two hours.

Discussion Guide

Advocacy often starts on an intimate, personal level when we share an issue about which we feel passionately with the people we trust most. Watching “How to Die in Oregon” is an excellent way to open up this important conversation with your friends and family.

After watching the film, gather your guests in a circle, and begin to moderate a conversation. The following questions are just suggestions — you know your guests and can decide which areas of the subject matter will work best.

Suggested post-screening discussion questions:

• What struck you the most watching this film, and did it make you think about death and dying differently?
• Why do you think death is so hard to talk about openly in our culture?

• Did you feel that people were fully in control of their decision to take the medication? How would you feel as a loved one witnessing this interaction?

• Do you think your doctor would support your request for medical aid in dying if you were eligible and the practice was authorized in your state? Do you know what your statewide medical association’s position is on medical aid in dying? How might you have a conversation with your doctor about their views on authorizing medical aid in dying and willingness to advocate for it within their medical association?

• What kind of support do you think there would be in your local city, town or county council? What kinds of barriers do you imagine would make it challenging to get a local resolution or proclamation passed in your community? What are the steps you would need to take to help the movement?

• How would you interact differently with someone you know who is living with a terminal diagnosis after watching this film? Do you think you would prepare differently for your own death?

• If you don’t support medical aid in dying for yourself, do you feel you can understand and support the decisions of others after watching the film?

Advocacy Activity Guide

After your screening and/or discussion, if time allows you can guide your guests in translating positive energy into some tangible action that could make a difference on these issues. Here are some suggestions for taking solid next steps:

Join a Local Action Team

Before the event, contact your nearest Action Team leader to find out what your team is working on, what type of help they need, and when and where the next meeting takes place. Share that information with your guests and ask them to commit to joining the team and attending the next meeting.

If you don’t have a local Action Team already in place, suggest forming a local team and set the date for the next meeting. Compassion & Choices has great resources to help you form an Action Team, so if you decide to start your own team, reach out to your Compassion & Choices point of contact for guidance and materials!

Advance Directive Workshop (about 30 minutes)

Before your event, print out your state’s advance directive form and dementia provision from CompassionAndChoices.org/eolc-tools/. After watching the film, break into small groups of two or three people and fill your directives out together. Even if not everyone finishes, it’s a great way to take the mystery out of the process and introduce your guests to an important tool.

Take turns sharing with the rest of the group the biggest challenge and the biggest relief that you experience while filling out the form.

Take It Viral With Photos (15 minutes)

Create and print placards for your event that say, “I support medical aid in dying because …” and leave space for your guests’ responses. Break into small groups and fill out the placards together, limiting responses to one sentence. Discuss your responses and take photos of each other holding the placards.

Then, with your guests’ permission, share the photos on Twitter and Facebook.  Remember to tag Compassion & Choices in any post, and add the hashtag #medicalaidindying. Also remember to include @compandchoices when using Twitter.

Speak Out and Be Heard! (15 minutes)

Break into small groups and together draft a letter to your local legislators asking them to support medical aid-in-dying legislation in your state. Use the templates available in Chapter 1, on page 13 of this resource to help you get started.

In addition to drafting your letters, take an opportunity to customize and print a petition using the template found in this appendix, have everyone sign it, and offer an extra copy for guests to take home and have their family and friends sign. Ask your guests to return petitions to you so you can send them to your legislator. Always remember to cc: Compassion & Choices.