By Meagan Williams

What if conversations about death weren’t filled with fear, but with hope, connection, and even joy? At End Well 2024, hundreds of people—doctors, caregivers, artists, and advocates—came together to reimagine how we approach the end of life. What began as a late-night spark for Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider is now a unique nonprofit organization aiming to improve end-of-life care and policy through storytelling and community. Since 2017, millions of people have paused in their busy days to listen to stories of grief, death, and caregiving thanks to End Well. This work takes place year-round, with their annual conference serving as a mile marker — it is packed with hundreds of like minded people, coming together to build community and learn from one another. Compassion & Choices participated for the third time in this event this year, where sparks of joy and wisdom came in equal measure. 

Inspired Speakers

What makes End Well so unique is the incredible caliber of its speakers. Comedian and actor Yvette Nicole Brown served as our host; she recently released a podcast series called Squeezed, featuring stories of caregiving across the country. The End Well audience is diverse in skillset — nurses, end-of-life doulas, bereaved loved ones, doctors, high school students, social workers, artists, producers, chaplains and grievers — sharing space and tears together. Presenters offered their insight through curated and beautifully produced storytelling throughout the day.  

Roshi Joan Halifax asked us to consider how we share space with those at the end of life; social worker and grief activist Lisa Keefauver gave practical tips for finding wonder and aliveness in the wake of loss and uncertainty. Style icon Stacy London shared her experience of caregiving for her father, alongside menopause, in a powerful conversation about aging. Dr. Jared Rubenstein shared the pain and frustration he experiences as a palliative care physician, a role many people — even within medicine — do not understand fully; he turned those feelings into a viral video that has helped explain his work to tens of thousands of fellow healthcare workers and families. Other stories touched on critical care planning discussions, supporting veterans at the end of life, facing loss of faith, caring for clinician burnout, and many examples of people finding beauty through grief.

Intimate Conversations

Emmy Award winner Ricki Lake sat down in an intimate conversation with end-of-life doula and death educator Alua Arthur — who spoke with our team for a magazine interview in the summer of 2023 — to discuss connections between motherhood and loss. Tembi Locke, featured in our current magazine, also took the stage to share her incredible story, which is now showcased in Netflix’s “From Scratch”. Compassion & Choices collaborator Dan Diaz and National Director of Clinical Engagement Jessica Empeño hosted an intimate lunch chat, where attendees sat with our team to discuss the power of professionals as advocates, and opportunities to connect. Dan shared the story of his wife Brittany Maynard, and how her journey led him to the work he does now. 

End Well’s goal is to bring “joy, wonder, and hope” into conversations around end-of-life, without fearing the depths or seriousness of them. It was beautiful to see those conversations happening all day long – in the audience, in the line for the restroom, at lunch, in the parking lot. 

Key Takeaways

Three themes emerged for me in the days after the event, which align beautifully with the work we do at Compassion & Choices and what drew me to the organization to begin with:  

• Loss and grief we experience individually can be a powerful tool for change; each of the speakers at End Well shared the pain that led them to the stage – which only underlined the power of stories when we advocate for a better end-of-life experience. It reminded our whole team of the many storytellers, advocates, and volunteers who have shared their experiences and time with us – and what an incredible difference they have made.  
• The words we use matter; with conversations as the cornerstone of End Well’s work, it is no surprise that communication was a focus area. It was interesting, however, to see all the ways language wove through the day. Through stories of missed opportunity, miscommunication, or misunderstanding – as well as those of truth and joy – it was reiterated that the use of honest, judgement-free language is critical in changing the way our society speaks about death.  
• Speaking about end-of-life issues is challenging for everyone; healthcare professionals, experienced advocates, and caregivers across the country face barriers when attempting conversations with their loved ones. High quality planning resources and safe spaces to share are important elements to helping us all reach an end that aligns with our wishes and values – something all of us work for every day. 

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