Ana Romero turned to Compassion & Choices when her authority as her husband’s healthcare decision-maker was challenged in court.

By Ana Romero

Fernando and I were newly married and focused on the future. We had talked about medical decisions and what we would want if something ever happened, but we never put anything in writing. Like many couples our age, it just didn’t feel urgent. 

When everything changed, what was already a heartbreaking situation could have been far worse—if not for the support of Compassion & Choices and their legal team at Compassion Legal, who helped me defend my husband’s wishes when I needed it most.

In 2015 Fernando fell seriously ill and a lack of oxygen caused irreversible brain damage that left him in a permanent vegetative state. For 18 months, he was kept alive by machines, with doctors saying he had no chance of recovery. Fernando had told me numerous times before his injury that he never wanted to depend on medical machines to be kept alive.

After seeing him languish for 18 months, I made the painful decision a few weeks before Christmas to bring Fernando home, where he could start palliative care to relieve his symptoms and I could keep him comfortable with our young daughters and me.

But the day before that was supposed to happen, his parents and sister filed two lawsuits to stop me. They wanted him to remain on machines and asked the court to take away my legal authority to make decisions for him as his wife.

I contacted Compassion & Choices, and their legal team stepped in right away. They stood by me through a long, emotionally draining court battle and helped me fight to make sure Fernando’s voice was not erased and his decisions were respected.

My 37-year-old husband died of natural causes on June 3, 2017. In early 2018, the judge ruled in my favor. He found that I was the person most qualified to speak for my husband, and that my decisions were in full compliance with California’s Health Care Decisions Law. I was thankful for the ruling—it validated my judgment to follow Fernando’s wishes after doctors had said he would not recover.

I share my story not only to honor Fernando, but to protect other families from going through what we did: Please don’t wait to put your end-of-life wishes in writing.

I also want people to know that help exists. Compassion Legal stood by me when I needed it most. They are the frontline legal defense for patient-directed care, fighting for systems that respect personal choice, informed decision-making, and access to the full range of end-of-life options.

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