Advance care planning is often seen as a conversation about death. But at its heart, it is about life: our values, our relationships, and the care we want for ourselves and the people we love.
“I have always thought of death as on the other side. But death is actually on this side. It’s part of life,” reflects Rev. Madison Shockley, a member of the Compassion & Choices Board of Directors and African American Leadership Council. “In that sense, we live our deaths with the same autonomy, purpose, and clarity with which we lived our lives.”
Recently, Rev. Shockley and other leaders from Compassion & Choices spoke with Public News Service about the importance of preparing for the end of life — and how doing so is part of living well today. Here are four pieces of practical guidance they offer:
An advance directive is a legal document that spells out your wishes for your care and names a healthcare proxy, or someone who will represent you, if you’re ever unable to make medical decisions for yourself.
Ottamissiah “Missy” Moore, a nurse and member of the Compassion & Choices African American Leadership Council, emphasizes that without a plan, people can encounter difficulties while receiving medical care. “Emergencies happen. Things happen… if people don’t know what you want, then it’s up to the practitioner to determine [your care],” Moore points out, which risks receiving unwanted procedures, treatments, and other interventions.
While an advance directive allows you to have a say in your care, it is also a gift of clarity to your loved ones and can prevent potential disagreements.
As a pastor, Rev. Shockley has witnessed this firsthand: “When the person writes their health-care directive and shares it with their family, the benefits are tremendous because then they can focus on loving one another and not debating what the care should be.”
He encourages people to write their wishes down, specify if they would want artificial life-sustaining measures if they’re ever incapacitated or terminally ill, and share their wishes and plans with loved ones so that everyone is on the same page.
Joél Simone is the founder of the Multicultural Death and Grief Care Academy and a member of the Compassion & Choices Board of Directors and African American Leadership Council. She urges people to include funeral and burial arrangements in their end-of-life conversations, recognizing how planning ahead can bring peace of mind and help families prepare financially for the cost of these services.
Making decisions in advance also “offers autonomy,” Simone asserts. “It gives individuals and families the power to make the decisions, so their lives are celebrated in the way they choose.”
Rev. Charles W. McNeill, Jr., a member of the African American Leadership Council, adds that planning for your belongings is an important part of this equation — even if you don’t necessarily think of yourself as someone who needs an estate plan.
He emphasizes that even furniture or smaller items can be meaningful to loved ones: “You may not be able to leave the apartment, but there are some things that you have. There may be some memorabilia… some items that you want to leave to your kids. Those things become very personal to some people.”
Making a plan for belongings also prevents potential conflict and provides clear guidance for how they should be managed and distributed after death.
These leaders encourage people of all ages to not wait to have important discussions. “From a spiritual standpoint, this mortal body’s going to decay,” says Rev. McNeill Jr., so it’s best to face that truth openly and prepare for it. He has encountered the fears and superstitions that some have with talking about death, but is working to normalize the conversation.
Simone agrees that people should be having conversations year-round about their values, priorities, and wishes for the end of life. Engaging in these discussions early and often leads to long-term benefits — from providing clarity to medical professionals and loved ones to ensuring you have the end-of-life experience you desire.
Get started with our free End-of-Life Decisions Guide and Toolkit, which can help you reflect on your priorities, complete an advance directive, talk with loved ones, and make your wishes known.
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