Bill Knight

Bill shared his story in September of 2024.

For my late wife, I want to do anything I can to make medical aid in dying an authorized option here in Michigan. 

Judy was beautiful in every sense of the word. Having known each other since the fourth grade, she and I began dating at the end of high school and into college. When I went to dental school, Judy worked as a special ed teacher getting her “PhT” (“putting hubby through”). 

I joined the Navy upon graduation and was immediately sent to Spain, where I served as a dental officer in the submarine corps. For two kids from small-town Michigan who had not done a lot of traveling, Spain was life-changing. We got to spend our first two years of marriage roaming Europe and developing a passion for travel there. 

When, after decades as an academic dean of dentistry at Michigan universities, I was recruited to a job in Illinois, Judy was as ever up for a new adventure. Here we were, in our mid-50s, with our friends and family in Michigan. But Judy said, “Why not?” So we shut down everything and moved to Chicago, and Judy created a beautiful community for us there. Then, in 2015, right when I was on the verge of retirement, I was recruited for a position at the Oregon Health & Science University. And Judy once again said, “Why not?” We were almost 70 at the time. 

Bill and Judy Knight

We had never lived in a more beautiful place. Our grandkids came out to visit and loved it. We thought, “This is where we’ll retire and spend the rest of our lives.”

One weekday morning in February 2017, Judy called to me from the bathroom. The toilet was filled with blood. Within two weeks, she received a diagnosis of stage 4 ovarian cancer. It was a bolt out of the blue. How could she go so quickly from her typical zest for life to this damning diagnosis? 

Judy underwent surgery and two rounds of chemotherapy. The initial results were encouraging, and Judy regained her energy and ever-present zest. Around October, our doctor informed us that Judy was in a “grace period.” We celebrated our 50th anniversary in December of that year. 

In the summer of 2018, Judy said to me, “Bill, I would like to make one more trip to Paris” — one of our favorite cities in the world. So that October we spent 10 amazing days in the City of Lights with our travel companions of more than 50 years dating back to my Navy days, walking the neighborhoods and enjoying long, leisurely lunches. 

On the plane ride home, Judy said, “I’m not doing well, Bill.” 

When we got back, we saw Judy’s oncologist, who confirmed that her cancer was back in force. He said we could try a Hail Mary, another round of chemo. 

That last round of chemo was brutal. Judy said, “Enough. I’ve had enough.” Just before Christmas, she entered hospice. It should come as no surprise to people familiar with the benefits of hospice that once Judy began receiving in-home hospice care, she got a second wind that lasted several weeks. The bounce in her step was back, and she used that time to reconnect with her friends and say goodbye. 

Living in Oregon, we knew medical aid in dying was available to Judy. She talked about it with me, our daughter and our grandchildren, and there was no conflict at all — just open, honest discussion. Judy was tired. The last round of chemo had really pushed her over the edge, and she wanted to be as comfortable as she could be at the end. As I mentioned, she also wanted to be sure she could say her goodbyes in person to all her friends. 

Judy’s hospice team was very supportive, as was her oncologist. He signed on immediately to be her consulting physician, with the hospice physician being the attending, to write the prescription. 

Judy went through the process and qualified. Once she did, she experienced what I can only describe as a peace that buoyed her, knowing she had options and control. She didn’t have the strength to go out to eat, so typically I would cook or order in from our favorite restaurants, and we’d enjoy the food quietly and just really talk to each other about the things that are important in life. 

In late January or early February, Judy said, “Bill, I’d like to go to the coast one more time.” Cannon Beach was our favorite spot on the Oregon coast. I managed to get a hotel room that looked out onto the ocean. Judy couldn’t leave the room, but on our last day there, a perfect rainbow emerged from the clouds, visible through the hotel room window. That was our last trip together. 

Unfortunately, at the time (the law has since changed) the statutes were such that you had to wait 30 days after qualifying to get the medication. Judy passed on March 22, 2019, 15 days after qualifying for medical aid in dying. 

Although Judy did not live long enough to use medical aid in dying, just knowing that she qualified dramatically improved her last days, giving her inner strength. She still dared to want to experience life, all the way to the end. And while she was able to say goodbye to her friends, she never said goodbye to me, which I took as the ultimate compliment — that we’d be separated, perhaps, but still together. Judy wanted to have control over and choices at the end of her life, which was what qualifying for medical aid in dying really gave her.